Dear God help me, cuz I need it.

It is too too easy, to hate certain people. Im talking people who act friendly to your face, but as soon as they get in a group of their own they tear you down. Im talking two-faced people who are too afraid to come to you when they have an issue with you, so they talk smack about you AND they get others to do it too. People who you thought were decent, well surprise. Well, I shouldn't be surprised, I should have learned long ago not to trust a smiling person just cuz they seem friendly.

When I got in the car, the song playing was talking about forgiveness and another about not quitting in the situation. Im not going to let this affect me more than it already has. Yeah, I get crap from work with people who try to keep me from advancing. They want to keep me trapped or they want me quitting. I'll admit, there's things that I've done wrong. Sometimes I gave people nasty looks without meaning to, with no malice or ill intent behind it. Sometimes the things I say or do can be misinterpreted negatively. And if you want to hate me and get your buddies to do it too, you're not the first. And you're not the only ones whom I've outlasted. I might be sad now, hurt cuz some part of me trusted you, but I learn from my mistakes. Im not gonna stop what I have to do. God help me cuz I want to be resentful and strike back and be just as nasty and cruel as you. But that'd be sin winning, and I don't want any part of that. It's more than church. It's more than doing what's right. I don't want that darkness staining me no matter how much I'm surrounded by it. I'm here asking what would Jesus would want me to do. I know some people will say 'confront them, attack them back. Don't let them get away with it'. Others would say 'ignore them. They're not worth it'.

Forgiveness. When nothing was wrong, I thought it was easy. I thought how hard could it be, for a mom to forgive the person who killed her daughter in a drunk driving accident? In the heat of the moment, it was the hardest thing to do. The hardest when you haven't done anything and yet you know, that you can't hold this bitterness against them. Well, time to bake some lemon cookies tomorrow ^^


Note: At bible reading with the fam tonight, on my turn to read out loud I came across this verse

Proverbs 9: 7-9


7 Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return.
    Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt.
8 So don’t bother correcting mockers;
    they will only hate you.
But correct the wise,
    and they will love you.
9 Instruct the wise,
    and they will be even wiser.
Teach the righteous,
    and they will learn even more.


God answers =)  Thank you so much Jesus

thank you juu too!!


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